A father is the first man a little girl looks up to, respects, loves and most of all trusts. The relationship a little girl has with her father sets the stage for the future relationships she will have with other males in her life.
A father’s role in the life of his daughter lays the foundation and the expectation of how his daughter will expect other men to respect and treat her. When she views how her father treats her mother, she learns how a man should treat the woman he loves and respects. She will carry that vision with her throughout her life time.
A father’s role in the development of a little girl’s self concept and self image in so vitally important. If a little girl feels confident in the love her father has for her, she isn’t as likely to go through her lifetime seeking the love she didn’t get from her father.
Although my father wasn’t the feely, touchy kind of man, I definitely felt very much loved. His love for me and all of his children has definitely been the guiding force throughout my life.
My father taught me many things that I still hold very dear until this day. I never realized while I was learning those hard lessons, just how important they would still be to me today . Throughout a twenty year marriage that ended in a difficult divorce, the death of my ex-husband, and daunting dating experiences in a dysfunctional dating world, the courage my father taught me kept me anchored.
The courage to walk away from people, not meant for me, didn’t respect me, invest in me at the same level of investment I gave or simply just didn’t feel right to me.
Most importantly, my father courage taught me that my love was worth fighting for even if at times I didn’t believe it myself. I learned from him that no matter how tough things get, never give up. He made me believe that I was worth the investment of my own strength.
Of all the things that I learned from my father, the lesson that stands out the most for me on this father’s day is the lesson of courage. You see my father danced to a different drum beat.
He didn’t always go along with the crowd or do things that were necessarily popular. He stood for things he believed in, even if he stood alone. He taught me to always follow my faith and my heart and do what I knew to be the right thing.
He taught me to stand up for what I believed in even if it meant I had to stand alone. He knew that at the end of the day, all we have is our conscious and that the decisions we make should always start and end at a place of peace.
It takes courage to decide to do the right thing in a world that many times seems to celebrate and reward dishonesty, cheating and getting ahead at all costs. It takes courage to love not only others but it takes courage to learn to love ourselves.
It takes courage to not only forgive others, but most importantly to forgive ourselves.
It so much easier to go along with what everyone else is doing to fit it: However, for me I have found it not to be as rewarding or self fulfilling as following my own heart.
It takes courage to live an authentic life and not be so concerned about what others think. It takes courage to live the life you were created to live and not live the life others want you to live.
It takes courage to continue to stand up, when those around you are constantly trying to knock you down. It takes courage to follow your own path, your own dreams and to follow your own destiny.
It’s takes courage to be bold. it takes courage to be different. It takes courage to drown out the voices of others in order to hear the sound of your own voice.
It takes courage to change for the better. Most of all it takes courage to make the choice to be happy when the world around you tells you that you don’t deserve to be happy.
You see for me, courage is the anchor that keeps us steady during life’s most difficult times. Having courage isn’t the absence of fear, having courage simply means that you don’t let fear stop you.
Fear keeps us stuck in places we don’t belong. Fear keeps us from venturing to places we’re meant to go. Fear keeps up from elevating to a higher level and higher purpose in our lives. It is fear that will keep us from growing.
Many times over your life you will be called upon to be courageous. Whether it be to escape an toxic situation, an abusive relationship, or simply making a difficult decision, you will have a definite choice to make.
Do you continue to allow fear to ruin your life, or do you find the strength to overcome your fear to give courage a chance to restore your life?
Just because something is hard to do, doesn’t mean it’s not the right thing to do. Most of the time, the hardest thing IS the right thing. The choice to be courageous always sits in at the core of who we are.
It is the power station of what we really believe and what we really value. It is also at the same time, a stabilizing force in a world of chaos and instability.
There is a sense of comfort and stability to know where you stand and what you believe in your life. You don’t change with the seasons or with the direction of the wind.
Knowing what you stand for does not mean you are inflexible or lack the ability to grow and evolve. It simply means you have a point of reference from which to start the journey.
Being courageous isn’t always, popular, sexy or easy for that matter. Although my life hasn’t been an easy one at times, I am thankful for the courage my father taught me.
For every time I was knocked down by others, my father’s courage taught me to get back up again. For every dream that I pursued and others didn’t understand or support me, my father’s courage taught me to fight for my own path with everything I have.
For every failure I have endured over my lifetime, my father’s courage taught me that my failure was just another opportunity to learn from my mistakes.
For every loss I thought I suffered, my father’s courage taught me that without losing I would never truly feel the complete joy of winning.
My father’s courage taught me that pain and heartbreak in my life served a greater purpose in my life. The pain and heartbreak in my life served to make me stronger, more compassionate and more humble.
Most importantly, the pain and heartbreak that I experienced in my life served as inspiration to others that may be traveling my same path. It has taught me that one woman’s mess can serve as another woman’s message.
The courage to share your mess and your message with others is where you will unleash your power and your purpose.
It is that same courage that I hope to pass along to my children in a uncertain, often times chaotic world. It is by far one of the most life changing gifts my father left me to give.