The presents are all beautifully wrapped, and neatly tucked underneath the tree. Everyone on your Christmas list is getting that one of a kind unique gift, lovingly coming from you. All of the names on your list have been completed and crossed off; However, there seems to be one crucial detail that somehow got overlooked this year.
The love and care that you so freely gave to others, you forget to give to you.
Many times I have seen beautiful women who have given love to those who do not deserve their time, attention or their love. You know the guy she’s dating and she hasn’t heard from him in three weeks and he suddenly and frequently reappears as if nothing happened. That’s not a confused guy who is taking a break to figure things out. That is a guy who is putting a woman on rotation schedule to pick her back up when he gets around to it.
There is the also the guy who she used to hear from every night, now seems too busy to even answer his phone or his texts. Just when she think she’s seen it all comes the guy who seems to only call her when he’s bored, needs physical attention or has nothing else better to do.
When she question HIS obvious disrespectful, dismissive and unacceptable behavior, he quickly labels her as “needy..” Can anyone tell me how questioning blatantly bad behavior, somehow in our society became needy? Am I the only one confused?
I can’t tell you the number of men I have talked to personally and have interviewed to get the male perspective on this very issue. Men are not as confused as we give them credit for, most men know exactly what they want: However, there are some men out there who will choose to keep the women in their lives in the dark. They do this to string them along for their convenience until the locate with it is they are really looking seeking. I know that is not an easy pill to swallow, but that doesn’t make it any less of a reality for many women.
A woman’s intuition knows what he’s doing and where he’s been. Her intuition is her guiding light, it’s main purpose is to protect her from harm. She’s not being paranoid and she’s certainly not crazy, her gut is giving her warning signals.
As she starts to process the madness of it all, hopefully, she starts to realize the truth and chooses “HER” and her “PEACE.” Having high standards and expecting a man who wants to spend time with you, treat you with love and respect is not being needy. It is choosing to love and respect yourself enough to know you deserve better than to be anyone’s second option, last minute choice or relief from their boredom. You are worth so much more, you are destined for so much more.
A very wise person once said, “Your vision is clear even if others can’t see it.” Just because someone who isn’t worth your time can not see what jewel you are, doesn’t mean it’s not there. Their inability, lack of judgement, maturity or dishonorable intentions have absolutely nothing to with the beauty you possess.
It is not selfish to walk away from a situation that attempts to rob you of your peace and your happiness. You deserve to be happy, you are worthy of happiness. At Christmas, Christians celebrate the birth of a Savior that came to save the world. For those Queens who are belivers, he didn’t come to save lives so that we could continue to be enslaved to the bondage of disrespect, emotional abuse, blatant and unapologetic disregard for our feelings.
If you have to face being romantically alone for some time, that is more than okay.
I see so many, so afraid of being alone that they risk losing their self-dignity, self-respect, and self-esteem. Once you lose those, they are almost impossible to get back. Being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely, only if you choose a life of loneliness by not seizing every opportunity to live life to the fullest.
Your relationship status isn’t all that you are and certainly does not define your life in its entirety. Your romantic relationships are only a small part of your life. As Mandy Hale is quoted as saying, “Your relationship status is only part of the story your life is meant to tell.”
If you stop giving your relationship status so my power to define who you are as a woman, you can finally free yourself and start living life on your own terms. You start living your own kind of happiness. It may not be what the rest of the world thinks of as their key to happiness, but what the rest of the world think about your happiness, is no concern of yours. If you wake up in the morning, looking forward to opportunity that the day will bring, that’s more than most people ever accomplish.
Plainly stated, your relationship status is not your entire existence, you are so much more. You are entitled to more.
I would rather be alone romantically and have a live full of love and meaning than to settle for life burdened with pain, disrespect and devaluation. Each woman has to decide for herself, her price tag for her peace. That is an individual choice that each woman must make for herself.
I am not telling you how you should live, if you are truly happy with whatever situation you are in, that is wonderful. However, in your heart of hearts, you constantly confused, drained and disillusioned, you deserve more. I hope you will start to choose “YOU” over a life of pain, confusion, and uncertainty.
Real love is neither confusing or uncertain. Someone who loves you will move towards you with a sense of deliberate purpose. Their love for you isn’t anything you’ll ever have to wonder about. A man’s message and his love for you will be obvious and consistent. There will be nothing you’ll have to question. If you have to question his commitment to you and for you, you already know the answer, all that’s left for you to do is accept it.
If wanting to find a life partner is something that you would like to find, there’s nothing wrong with waiting for a man who will CHOOSE to treat you with respect, love, and dignity. Waiting doesn’t make you weak, waiting makes you worthy.
This Christmas, I hope you will make a commitment to choose “you” today and always. Learn to trust your gut and your instinct when things don’t feel right. No one knows you, better than you. Trust your instinct, it only wants the best for you.
Your instinct always knows, it’s to us to listen to it’s wisdom. You have everything you need to guide your path to the peace that you deserve. Here’s to choosing YOU this Christmas, Here’s to choosing YOUR peace.