For some breaking up with a love interest is so very hard to do. You thought you found the love of your life. You had a whirlwind romance and they were like no other you had ever known. They were all you ever hoped and dreamed up and before you know it that dream turned into a nightmare. Soon after the sweet midnight kisses, you discovered the honeymoon was over, the fairy tale was over, the gig was up and now you feel that your world has been irreparably torn apart. You can’t sleep, you can’t eat and everywhere you look, you see visions of your ex. The dreams of the future you planned rock you to sleep at night and awaken you each morning. You just can’t shake the feeling that you will never get over the hurt and betrayal that you feel.
For some people, breakups symbolize an ending, for many like myself, see breakups as the beginning of new life. The beginning of a new opportunity, a new chance at love, at a whole new life. Every time I thought I lost something, I quickly realized that God has something much better in mind for me, if only I let go of the illusion of what I thought I lost. The fact is, you can’t move forward with your life, while you are still looking behind you . That kind of directional math, just doesn’t add up. Your future isn’t behind you, so stop looking for it there…..
Your life is made up of many amazing chapters, the relationship you just left only represents one rocky one. That time in your life is meant to strengthen you, not define you. In my lifetime, I’ve have certainly experienced my fair share of breakups; However, the one thing that I am always thankful for, is the chance to be free to be one step closer to obtaining what was meant for me. You see the reality is not everyone is meant for us, everyone isn’t meant to be on your team, everyone isn’t meant to make the “cut”. When you’ve dried you eyes, one thing is for sure, you will one day be able to see things much more clearly than you do right now. You will see that breakups are really a Blessing in disguise, if you embrace it.
It really doesn’t matter, if you left the relationship or if the other person ended it, the sobering fact is, that person wasn’t meant for you. If they were meant for you, the two of you would be finding a way to make it work, instead of you wasting a moment of your precious time, wondering what happened and what went wrong. Or worst yet..blaming yourself for what went wrong. Taking all of the blame for the demise of any relationship is counterproductive and is just plain wrong. The destruction of a relationship is very rarely one person’s fault, there is usually enough blame to pass around, so don’t beat yourself up and don’t allow anyone else to lay the total blame at your feet.
If you left the relationship because of abuse, mistreatment or you weren’t happy and fulfilled, then it’s obvious that relationship wasn’t meant for you. If the other person left for their own reasons and those reasons are at least fair and valid ones, you should wish them well. As hard as that may be, it is the right thing to do. They deserve to be happy and so do you. You will get through this and you will love again, because you are worthy of giving AND receiving love in your life.
If the other person treated you poorly, you should still wish them well and take comfort in knowing that one day the hurt you feel will be a distant memory. They actually did you a favor, by stepping aside and allowing someone who is worthy of your devotion to show up in your life. Your time is the most precious thing you have, never waste it on someone who isn’t worth that investment.
You can rest assured that one day you will come to proudly realize that not everyone’s arms is strong enough to hold you, not everyone’s mind is designed to understand you, not everyone’s heart is pure enough to love you, not everyone is mature enough to manage the reality of you and not everyone’s intentions are honorable enough to deserve you. When these conditions exist, as the late multitalented late Nina Simone is quoted, ” You’ve got to learn to leave the table when love’s no longer being served. ” Breakups are opportunity to learn the lessons, that you were meant to learn in order to become a better version of yourself. Growing pains are never easy, but nothing in life of value, is ever gained easily.
After your breakup, do what feels right to you and whatever makes you happy. Take the time you need to heal and rest if you must, but never forget you have wings to fly. Don’t allow your breakup to prevent you from finding the happiness you deserve, whether that is pursuing a new relationship, following your passions, explore new hobbies or travel to new an exotic destinations. This is your time to take advantages of your new opportunity, make every moment count…